6qubed:

youknowyouarerussianwhen:

This professor could not find a projector and drew the map of the world himself.

he is too powerful
he must be contained before explosions
I read all the blogs because I’m an under-employed fat fucking loser with nothing better to do with my time than sit in my bedroom like a fat space hopper in a tracksuit reading inconsequential, unspellchecked shit, fabricated by other fat fucking losers. Malcolm Tucker accurately describing my life.

(Source: reclusive-maniac)

11 notes
omnishamblestexts:

(404): My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
  • girl: babe come over
  • boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
  • girl: my parents aren't home
  • boy: I know
21,008 notes

badassmccall:

if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances

(Source: cosimaniehaus223, via theblackandwhitedress)

59,863 notes

fraternityboy:

why is “in cahoots with” not a relationship option on facebook

(via theblackandwhitedress)

89,738 notes
janekrahe:

sarahreesbrennan:

geek-ramblings:

When I first got this role I just cried like a baby because I was like, “Wow, next Halloween, I’m gonna open the door and there’s gonna be a little kid dressed as the Falcon.” That’s the thing that always gets me. I feel like everybody deserves that. I feel like there should be a Latino superhero. Scarlett [Johansson] does great representation for all the other girls, but there should be a Wonder Woman movie. I don’t care if they make 20 bucks, if there’s a movie you’re gonna lose money on, make it Wonder Woman. You know what I mean, ’cause little girls deserve that. There’s so many of these little people out here doing awful things for money in the world of being famous. And little girls see that. They should have the opposite spectrum of that to look up to.

Dreamboat, check, awesome human being, check. 

#look at your favorites#now back to mackie#sadly your favorites aren’t mackie#but if they stopped being misogynistic assholes#they could be like mackie#look back at this post#this post is now that piece of furniture you’ve always wanted#and he found it in a dumpster#he doesn’t need a horse because he flies on the sighs of angels